From the birth of my coaching practice, I believed that I would coach more women than men. My early mentor coach even suggested that I market my coaching specifically to women. What I learned quickly was that by the time I get a call from a male client, they’ve already decided they’re hiring a coach and the only question is … am I the right coach for them? But honestly, that is usually handled too because they got my name from someone they trust and know that I have specific experience, knowledge, or skills that align with their own goals. I’m hired on the spot.
When a woman contacts me, the typical time it takes for her to hire me is on average 30 to 45 days. Only about 40 percent of the women that contact me will become clients. The good news is… the women who do commit to investing in themselves do their work and get the most out of it.
So, what’s the deal? Why are women so hesitant? I have a few theories.
- Women Don’t Invest in Themselves. Oh, on appearance we do. Not to stereotype but many women won’t think twice about dropping a hundred dollars at TJ Maxx. Their every 6-week salon visit is in the budget. They will spend on the kids first. They will book that vacation that will make them feel like they need a vacation after it. But they don’t do that something for themselves that will help them truly thrive.
- Women Think They Should Have It All Figured Out. And they really do put the super in Super Woman. But here’s what I learned when I hired my first coach. I was working 60 to 80 hours a week and traveling constantly, I wasn’t getting uninterrupted time to build my career and life beyond the doing. Who becomes CEO? The person who can see the bigger vision. Who stays in the VP role for decades? The do’er. No shame, do’ers can make great money and find contentment. But do you want more?
- Men Win. Women are just as competitive as men and sometimes more competitive. Men, however, understand that competition is nothing without winning. Every great sport analogy rings true because of the edge. The edge defines what the other team doesn’t have. Every competitor pushes themselves to new and different heights. And, every player has a coach holding them accountable. The game is more mental than physical. And life is a game for better or worse. Men get this, they hire coaches, they win.
- Men tend to be naturally confident and sometimes over-confident. Women grow into their confidences making it more solid. In hiring a coach, men often will just think it’s time. “I’m doing awesome, I want to be better, I think this coach will help.” Women might say, “I’m not ready for a coach, I will hire one when I make more money, who am I to think I can go to that next level, I should be able to figure this out myself.” Men will say, I’m worth the investment in myself. Women will find a thousand reasons to talk themselves out of their worth.
These are only my theories, but I have watched it from both sides of the fence. When in corporate I would tell my female colleagues that I had a coach, they would never ask for her name. When I told my male colleagues, they would hire their own coach within 3 months if I was in direct competition with them. They would brag to me about how much better their coach was. And, if I was their mentor, they would ask me for my coach’s information. I wish I could say I was an innovator in hiring my first coach, but I wasn’t. I had found her by accident after making a terrible mess in my career. If I would have hired a coach years earlier, I wouldn’t have been in the mess.
All happens as it should, but I do hope for more women to invest in themselves. I would love them to hire me to support them in the successes of their choosing.
What do men and women think about investing in themselves? Thank you for reading, we all learn from each other. Please consider sharing your story of investing in yourself in the comments.
Windley Works Featured Weeklies
Events: Tis the New Year’s Season to update your resume. Contact Coach Jen to see how a professionally written resume can support your success.
Coach Jen is honored to be partnering with i Understand to lead a Discussion on Narcissism. Join on Tuesday, January 21st – 6:30 – 8:00pm at the Ronald McDonald House of Western Michigan with i understand. This is free discussion, register here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/living-with-a-narcissist-careg…
Oracle Card Readings: There’s still time for a New Year! New You! card reading. Stay connected to your intuition, higher self, and life purpose. Readings are available via phone, video, or in-person. Do you have a birthday party, bridal shower, bachelorette event, or just a Girls Night … Contact Coach Jen!
Anxiety Michigan: This week Beth Tuttle and Coach Jen will take their tools and advice for anxiety to Western Michigan University to support The Starting Gate Program students. Learn more about these amazing student entrepreneurs at www.wmich.edu/startinggate
Windley Works Reads: This week Coach Jen recommends the poem, “The Measure” by Mary Oliver. You can read it HERE.