I’ve had cancer 3 times. The first time, my mom sat in the corner, the doctor across from me, a nurse was holding my hand which should have been the sign. I went into denial where I mostly stayed despite the side effects of chemo trying to shake me awake.
The second time, my hair had just begun growing back. That time I was mad as hell. The third time, there was no place to land but knee deep into uncertainty. I had no choice but to surrender.
I didn’t know anything about surrender and as many of you are facing our current COVID-19 Surrender, maybe you don’t know how it works either. See, in 2001 a month passed September 11th, I thought Cancer #3 Surrender looked like “brace for it” and sounded like, “just give in.” And that’s what I did.
Right before Cancer #3 showed up, I was updating my resume and putting together a secret plan to end a relationship. And, I felt like I was standing on the edge of something big. Not so unlike a month ago. After cancer showed up and shut me down once again, I braced myself and gave in. I stayed at the job that didn’t fit and felt miserable. I married. I hunkered down into a life that I might have described as, “At least I’m alive, I’ll figure out how to make it work.”
Then I burned that life down to the ground. Metaphorically of course, and without any conscious thought. I did get a new job, the first that was offered. And while it was lovely people, it was another wrong fit. I was separated from my marriage in less than a year. As I continued holding myself down in the “give in” form of surrender … my inner child was the one running the show. She was rebelling like no one’s business. She was scared, confused, and angry. She even handed the matches to a bad actor who most likely was letting his inner child run the show too … the next fire was me a blazing and the only thing that saved my butt was a coach and therapist who helped me extinguish the flames and redefine surrender.
The truth is. Surrender is about letting go. Giving it to God. Accept the help. Being in the moment. In the moment, we are safe. All the past and future is … is thoughts … in the thoughts is where we find the anxiety. In the here and now of open-armed surrender, that’s where we see the opportunity. That’s where we get back to the edge of something big … usually something bigger.
A few years after I had been on fire, I was literally fired from a job with only a little savings, a big huge mortgage, and living in an area I wasn’t that excited about. But this time I did surrender different. I trusted that I could handle whatever might happen. It was right in the middle of the housing crisis, so selling my home wasn’t an option but I trusted. I knew if I had to give it back to the bank, it would be hard, but I could. I didn’t get caught up in stories about what it meant to be fired, I knew all sides of the drama and a few people’s opinions didn’t define me. I worked with my coach to keep my mind steady, explored opportunities, and didn’t take the first job offered. On the other side, I ended up making more money, worked in a office space I loved, and that job set me up for the next amazing job that I suspect will always be my favorite outside of working for myself. I mean, who can compete, it’s a chocolate company for goodness sake.
We all have a choice in how we choose our surrender right now during COVID-19. Will you analyze and complain about every detail of this event focusing on a ‘giving-in’ view of surrender? A ‘nothing ever works out for me’ kind of thinking? Or, will you be open enough to see the opportunity.
Which surrender will you choose? As always, thank you for reading. Remember, we all learn from each other. Please consider sharing your thoughts on surrender in the comments.
Windley Works Weeklies
Websites: Are you in need of a quick add-on for your business functions during quarantine? An online menu or a pay online feature for example. Give Cary a call at 269-806-2936 or message us to discuss, we are here for you.
Anxiety Michigan: The weekly online support events are continuing on Thursdays at 6 pm. If you would like to join this week’s event, you can sign up via Eventbrite through this link. You can learn more at www.anxietymichigan.com to see how Beth Tuttle and Coach Jen are working to change the conversation around anxiety. Please watch this video from the Anxiety Michigan Online Support Event on March 19th to learn more.
Resumes: As we had feared, many folks are scrambling to complete resumes due to a recent layoff or furlough. We’re here to help and discounts are available. Just give us a call and we can discuss, you aren’t alone and we’re here to help. Call Coach Jen for a resume that sets you apart.
Oracle Card Readings: Stress and uncertainty disconnect us from our intuition, inner knowing, and higher selves. Coach Jen is currently offering $5 OFF her 15 minute and 30 minute readings through the end of April! If you’ve never done a reading and are curious of what I’m up to with this, message me and I can text you a video.
Windley Works Reads: This week Coach Jen recommends a page from Sue Monk Kidd’s masterpiece memoir, “When the Heart Waits” to help put some definition to our current time and space. Learn more here.
You are amazing, Jen! You’ve overcome so much! So proud of you! Love and miss you!