Coach Jen - 269.366.0021 / Cary - 269.806.2936 info@windleyworks.com

Wine / Turkey / Family – Happy Thanksgiving

It’s that time of year again when we get together with our nearest and dearest for forced holiday fun.  It’s easy to zone out when we get around our family but staying in the present moment along with a little mental prep can go a long way.  Here’s a quick list…

  1. Be a Conversation Changer Machine. Compliments work.  If Aunt Edna is known to bring up politics, tell her those earrings are amazing and ask her where she got them.  What is this year’s most popular toys?  Where are the best sales tomorrow?  Have you tried that Popeye’s chicken sandwich?  Share in the comments, your favorite conversation changers.  We can never have enough good ones.  It’s hard to remember these when your cousin brings up that one thing that he knows will piss you off … having those conversation changers handy can really help.
  2. Can you be the OMG Interrupter? This works on the monologuers.  Every family has at least one.  Once they start talking about nothing, they don’t even take a breath for you to work in a compliment or conversation changer.  This one takes a full-on interruption to their monologue.  Oh my God, look at that turkey!  Oh my God, what is that dessert?  Find that something in the room to gush about or the kids.  Kids are usually good to help facilitate an interruption.
  3. Pee a lot. Sometimes you just need to get away and for the love … why don’t we remember to fake a bathroom break?  It’s so easy, no one ever questions you.
  4. Bring the fun. When my grandma was still alive and hosting holidays, we had an unspoken rule of breaking into song.  Typically, what was popular that year.  That always helped lighten a mood.  Bring the games, Cards, Dice, Sequence, Jenga … things that are super simple and good for all ages.
  5. Babysitter and Dog Walker. Who’s going to tell you to stop playing with the kids or the pets?  Just make it clear that you don’t change diapers.

If family can be triggering, you can always use EFT Tapping (google on youtube Beth Tuttle to see her videos), carry a selenite stone with you to remind yourself that you are grown and safe now, or wear a rubber band on  your wrist to snap when someone makes that hurtful comment.  It will help you hold your tongue and avoid a fight.  Don’t be afraid to set an absolute timeline for yourself.  If you know 2 hours is all you can handle, have a reason to leave and stick to that time for your sanity.

We can only meet people at their level of growth.  Some people will spend their whole life buried in negativity or fear or stuck in pain.  We can’t move them forward, we can only love them where they are.  The key is not doing that at our own expense.  With a little bit of planning, you can be joyful and light and that is a gift.  It also works better than trying to change Uncle Cranky Pants!

What has worked for you?  We all learn from each other.  Please consider sharing to help others survive family time.