1. You believe self-improvement and personal development are a bunch of hooey but your loved one or boss wants you to go.
2. You aren’t finished blaming your mother, father, ethnicity, religion, 2nd grade teacher, high school girlfriend, and/or ex-husband yet for where you are in your life today.
3. You don’t tell the truth, especially to yourself.
4. Your identity has become carrying around generations of family pain and you feel very attached to that identity.
5. You’ve heard the quote by Einstein, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” You believe that quote applies to everyone else BUT you. You just need to do the same things again with more gusto and discipline this time.
6. You believe that coaching is cool for some, but you’ll just pull yourself up by your bootstraps because you are better than average. That’s what your totally normal, emotionally stable, loving, billionaire family has always done, right? You may need to google bootstraps to know what they are, but you are sure it has always worked for your clan.
7. You’re literally afraid of reaching goals and being successful. This is so common, the fear of the expectations that accompany success is one of humanities greatest fears. If you can’t get a little passed that feeling, you probably aren’t ready for coaching yet.
8. You believe that we play the hand we are dealt in life. You can’t yet see that you always get a turn to shuffle, bluff, trade, strategize, change games, take breaks, or get a whole new deck at any moment you chose.
9. You’re afraid that your friends and family won’t like it when you start putting yourself first.
10. You believe in physical fitness but mental fitness you don’t have time for. Meditating for 10 minutes a day just isn’t possible.
11. You aren’t ready to do the work yet. And that’s okay, I’m here when you are.
We think that self-responsibility means looking back to fix the past. That’s therapy and often that’s a great first start, but coaching is looking forward. Take #2 up there. As your coach, I don’t need to know how your past shaped you, I just need to know that you are ready to let go of that past. No one is going to do it for you. Even if you had the world’s worst childhood, using that trauma as an excuse only blocks your future. Hire a coach to help hold you accountable to that future vision and your dreams. If you could do it alone, you’d already be there. As you start slowly reaching your new life and then your best life … your past loses control and becomes a distant memory.
What do you think about this list? As always, thank you for reading. Remember, we all learn from each other. Please consider sharing your thoughts in the comments.